Have you ever found yourself saying,
“If only he/she would change or be more like …?”
Ever wondered why everything seems to be an argument?
(This can include anything from handling money to doing chores)
Do you find yourself wishing your partner would be
MORE supportive, attentive, helpful, responsible, respectful or ambitious-
LESS demanding, critical, boring, controlling, annoying, unresponsive or resentful?
If your answer is yes, it’s time to FIND and DELETE the unknown reasons, causes and sources that led to this unwelcome behavior in the first place.
*Advanced Yuen Method students may want to skip this discussion and proceed to the section on unconditional love
Meet the 5 Destroyers/Restrictors:
KARMA is usually one of the two leading causes of all relationship difficulties between partners, and it almost always goes unrecognized. For this reason we will discuss karma in some detail. The shortest explanation of karma is ‘’you get what you give.” In other words, whatever you do intentionally to others creates a karma in which a similar occurrence happens to you in your future/past. This is known as direct karma. However, karma is far more complex than this. Karma additionally takes into account the spiritual karmas of your ancestors, descendants, collective influences and occasionally spirit attachments. It can take the EXTREMELY SUBTLE forms of indirect karma and/or partial indirect karma.
INDIRECT KARMA is a karma in which there is no direct link between you and your partner. It usually takes place through problematic interactions of your ancestors or descendants. For example, if you ancestors were affected by collective influences of the Christian Religion during the Crusades while your partner’s ancestors of the same period, were affected by collective influences of Islam, the two of you have indirect karma, which may be sabotaging your current relationship and doing so in a way that may have nothing to do with religious differences between the two of you.
PARTIAL INDIRECT KARMA is when you have a karmic experience with your partner’s ancestors or descendants, more frequently in another time and space. For example, your girlfriend has direct karma with your descendants who live 100 years from now. Because of your present relationship with your girlfriend and her unresolved karma with your descendants, you are subjected to a partial indirect karma with your girlfriend in the present. This situation is creating a weakness in the relationship, so the karma must be deleted.
When deleting karmas, it is not necessary to know the specific details of the scenario. It is enough to identify the type of karma involved, which can be quickly intuited and deleted. The presentation of karmic influences here may be too farfetched for most of us to accept, especially the influence of descendants. However, the unimpeachable results you obtain from resolving all karmic influences, including future ones, will speak for themselves and will astonish you and everyone else for that matter. You will experience this as you progress through Dr. Yuen’s Tele-Course and/or the Tele-Clinic.
NEGATIVE THINKING AND EXPERIENCES is the second category in the top two leading causes of relationship difficulties between partners.
NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES can include anything that has ever happened/will happen to you and in some cases, something that has happened/will happen to your ancestors or descendants. The most common negative experiences involve previous physical, emotional or spiritual TRAUMAS, ILLNESSES, LIMITATIONS and FEAR/PHOBIAS. We have already discussed the fifth negative experience, which is karma.
Negative experiences cover too vast an area to be thoroughly explored here. Information covered in the above paragraph will be greatly expanded in the upcoming Tele-Course.
However, we will add that when these negative experiences accumulate excessively in your body, mind and spirit, they tend to complicate your life. It is easy for a specific experience that occurs in any given moment to trigger all similar previous experiences, sometimes including those of your ancestors, making you over- respond or feel out of control. It then becomes impossible to deal with what is currently taking place. It is vital to feel, perceive, and intuitively locate and delete the cumulative effects of all weakening experiences that threaten your partnership.
Cleveland Clinic reports, “Each person has an average of 60,000 thoughts a day! That’s one thought per second in every waking hour! Amazingly, 95 percent are the same thoughts repeated every day. On average, 80 percent of these habitual thoughts are negative.”
It should be no surprise, then, that the mindless state is so foreign to most of us.
In addition, people tend to equate their thoughts with facts. Just because you have a thought, does not mean that thought is truthful in reality, no matter how much you believe it to be so. When you experience your thoughts as real and automatic, you live much of your life caught up in what weakens you rather than being present in knowing what is actually taking place.
The thinking patterns in the above categories are not analytical but more emotional in nature. They are all negative in character. The importance of these patterns is in locating the ones being used by either you or your partner and then deciding if one or both of you are being weakened by this type of thinking. For example, if your partner is critical of you, determine if the criticizing is weakening you as the receiver and/or if it is weakening him as the sender. Whoever is being weakened has a problem that needs to be deleted.
- Most of us are caught up CRITICIZING, JUDGING and/or BLAMING either ourselves or our partners regarding our relationship. This is the antithesis of the neutral mind.
- If you’re like most people, you average anywhere from 15 to 30 complaints a day! It’s true. COMPLAINING has become so automatic, we’re rarely aware we’re doing it. Check out to see how many of your habitual complaints revolve around your relationship.
- Many people are overly sensitive to criticism from their partner or being blamed. Their response is one of DEFENDING, VALIDATING and EXPLAINING their actions, excusing them by offering mitigating or extenuating circumstances or suffering silently. It is a sad situation because neither the criticizer nor the defender has a clue as to the underlying causes of their interaction.
- REGRETTING something you said or a specific action you took in your relationship is pointless and a total waste of time and harmful if it is weakening you.
- VENGEFUL thinking can be the most destructive of all patterns, especially when accompanied by strong emotions.
- WORRYING or experiencing UNCERTAINTY about your relationship never changes your situation. At best it is disturbing or upsetting. At its worst it can be nerve-wracking, agonizing or tormenting.
You must feel your negative thoughts or thinking processes to question if you or your partner is being WEAKENED by them, and when this is the case, by deleting the cumulative effects of them, you immediately change your relationship with your partner, so that both of you respond to each other in a more constructive manner . In this way, you both reclaim your power from your previous habitual and often weakening thinking, which only served to victimize one or both of you and to sabotage your marriage.
Most of the time, we are influenced by misinformation. Misinformation is always harmful because only when we obtain the correct information are we able to resolve our difficulties, so life in general doesn’t become a problem for us. Let’s look at one example relating to misinformation, in this case coming from experts.
EXPERTS in the field of relationships are in agreement that the major threat to a couple comes from the lack of appropriate communication. This doesn’t mean they are suggesting that talking about a problem using blame, criticism and other negative thinking will help. Rather, they provide you with what they consider to be the golden nugget to relationship success, learning and applying a technique that allows you to communicate properly with your partner. While this certainly beats the alternative of an all-out screaming match revolving around “who did what to whom” and the hurt that such arguments generate, how far does it really go in permanently resolving relationship differences?
As we stated in the previous email, presently, you are actually misinterpreting what’s really affecting you in your relationship. Even if you have mastered communicating as recommended by the experts, you will still be verbalizing (politely) what you incorrectly believe to be bothering you, which may provide you and your partner with the illusion of being more comfortable, at least for the moment, but in reality will not resolve your problem.
It is only when you insightfully intuit and delete the actual hidden physical, mental and spiritual issues involved and their underlying causes that you alter the energy in a way that allows you and your partner to change in the true sense thereby attracting different situations and breaking vicious cycles once and for all.
*Advanced students keep reading for the section on unconditional love
Join us to experience all the relationship destroyers and relationship restrictions for yourself and the astonishing transformation that occurs when they are intuited and deleted:
- Tele-Course – for those who want to use the Yuen Method on themselves and others
- Tele-Clinic – for those who want Dr. Yuen to personally resolve their own relationship problems
- Tele-Course and Tele-Clinic Bundle – for those of you who want the ultimate experience in relationship transformation
Want to Take Relationships to the Highest Possible Level?
What Is Unconditional Love?
How Can We Achieve This State?
FINDING A LOVING PARTNER
Let’s begin with conventional love, which is conditional and exists as a product of the mind rather than as a reality. The mind forms an attachment to the idea of love rather than encouraging the free experience and expression of love itself.
This happens as a result of the mind never being neutral. Everyone talks about freedom, but few of us know how to be really free. When you’re truly free, you’re neutral. Being neutral in the case of finding a partner means you’re OK with being alone. You’re equally OK with having a partner. It’s OK if you find love. It’s equally OK if you don’t find love.
However, because the mind doesn’t operate from a position of neutrality, it is never equally OK with any pair of opposites. For example, are you equally OK with being either free or a slave, with being either rich or poor, with either living or dying and so on? The mind critiques and judges and in so doing rates one side of each pair of opposites as being desirable, while its polar opposite is avoided at all costs.
Neither love nor freedom exists as a reality when you are relying on your mind. Your mind fools you by providing only the illusion of love or freedom.
What is one of your first thoughts when you find a lover? Is it “love only me,” meaning “do not seek out a second or third lover as well?” The moment you have this thought you have started possessing. The moment you possess another person, you have deeply insulted your partner by making him or her into a thing. When I possess you, no longer are you a person, just another item amongst my holdings (bank account, house, clothing, etc.).
Not only does your mind place conditions on your partner, but it envisions that your list of expectations involving the other will be fulfilled. When this fails to occur, memories all the other times your expectations were not met are triggered, your emotions take over and you are no longer dealing with what is currently happening. You now blame your partner and this becomes a problem, not realizing the source of this problem, its reasons and causes lie within you.
Unconditional love occurs only when there are no conditions and no expectations because the mind is not involved. There is a myth that unconditional love only occurs if you are an enlightened master who has spent decades, if not lifetimes achieving the goal of transcending the mind.
Another myth is that unconditional love resides in the spirit and developing a closer relationship with your spirit is the key to releasing the unconditional love that is within you. Truthfully, developing a bosom connection with spirit can overwhelm the ego with the weight and gravity of the accumulated negative experiences and karma stored there.
The way to approach the spirit is when you are very practiced in neutrality, you can locate and delete the weaknesses of the spirit. In terms of unconditional love, you must be in a neutral in a place not only of no mind but also of no spirit.
Unconditional love occurs only when the spirit is not involved.
Once again, it’s time to delete the myths involving unconditional love by activating and strengthening the process that will allow you to experience unconditional love in the here and now.
Join us for this experience in the upcoming Tele-Course and Tele-Clinic.
Stay tuned for our next blog, which explores sexual problems between partners and also details specifically the Yuen Method’s Protocol Ensuring Results for Unconditional Love and Sexual Neutrality.